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I watched a couple of Van Damme movies, such as Cyborg (1989) and Street Fighter (1994), but I never had any real interest in his portfolio. Personally, I always gravitated towards Arnold Schwarzenegger as my default action hero – Jean-Claude Van Damme never really entered my sphere. Not literally you understand, it wasn’t like Chuck Norris lived next door, or Dolph Lundgren worked at Bejam but in terms of the general zeitgeist, actors like Norris and Lundgren were everywhere. You know, growing up during the 1980s and 1990s I was surrounded by action stars. Sure, not a great deal happens and the film relies heavily on Van Damme’s stunt work, but Timecop ticks all the right boxes.
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Just wait until Jean-Claude hands you your ass.ġhr 32mins – As the movie comes to a close, all is right with the world, Van Damme is off home to sleep with his wife, and a saxophonist is saxing to the max! Oh, and the house is intact. His (past) wife is being held at gunpoint and the bad guy has just taken the piss out of all the high-kicking he does. This is a bit awkward.ġhr 24mins – Van Damme is up against it. Old Van Damme is stood watching young Van Damme snog his wife. That question is up there with “Does this outfit make me look fat?” and “What are you thinking about right now?” And just in case you are wondering what the answers to those questions are, the default responses are: “No” and “I was thinking about you – and how great you look in that outfit.”ġhr 13mins – Hmm… time travel problems. Maybe Van Damme will be given the opportunity to save his house? Oh yeah, and maybe he can stop his wife from dying too.ġhr 11mins – Oh dear, Van Damme’s wife (from the past) has just asked: “Where am I ten years from now?” Jeez, don’t answer that question, Jean-Claude. This is low budget stuff, with no money for huge stunts, but Van Damme has plenty of opportunity to do what he does best – kick some ass! This is what I am here for.ĥ5mins 30secs – Ah, shit! Van Damme just frozen someone’s arm! He then made a joke about not making the right quip when freezing someone’s arm!ġhr 07mins – Van Damme is being framed for a murder he didn’t commit.ġhr 09mins – The story is revisiting a scene from the start of the movie. A great way to save money is to set your time travel movie in present day.ĥ3mins – I must say, I am really enjoying Timecop. I am filling in the blanks here, but I guess the death of his wife has pushed Van Damme into the time travel programme and I am now seeing an older and much more brutal version of the action star.Ĥ4mins – So, Van Damme has travelled back in time to the budget-friendly era of 1994 – the same year the movie was made.
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Bugger.ġ9mins – And now, without any real explanation, Van Damme has materialised in the 1920s and he appears to be in full time cop mode – with no mention of what just happened. Instead of hot passionate action, a bunch of hoodlums have arrived, have shot Van Damme, and have blown up his house, presumably killing his wife in the process. Either that or they are having lasagne for dinner.ġ4mins 30secs – The sex scene has gone in a different direction than I expected. She has something important to tell him and I am going to hazard a guess here and say she could be pregnant. If this isn’t a great introduction to a fine upstanding hero, then what is?ġ1mins – Van Damme is celebrating a good day of heroic deeds by sleeping with his wife. Now don’t question anything else.ĩmins 30secs – Jean-Claude Van Damme has just stopped a mugging and has made an old lady very happy. Instead of concentrating on the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, all we need to know is the misuse of time travel can benefit terrorists. Apparently, time travel is very confusing to understand. Both of these guys were involved in The Evil Dead (1981) and the television series, Xena: Warrior Princess (1995 – 2001), so this is a good start.Ĥmins – Erm… a bad guy with automatic weapons in 1863? This must be a time travel thing.ĥmins 30secs – Hmm… a group of government officials are explaining the rules of time travel.
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Oh, and Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert were involved in this movie. 2mins – I am knee-deep in opening credits however, the accompanying music is very dramatic and I like it.